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You're Nobody's Producer

The glow of the old school CRT monitor cast an almost sacred light on our faces, and later the Philips TV, the screen for a digital aurora in the box-room. I remember the specific thrum of the PlayStation, the click of its disc drive, and the rhythmic, almost hypnotic sequence of button presses as I meticulously layered beats and melodies. This was for his GCSE music project, a task he’d presented with a shrug and an almost imperceptible plea for help. He didn't do or say much; he rarely did. He just sat there, knees pulled up to his chest on the floor, watching me, a silent, still observer as I sculpted a rudimentary track from the limited palette of an early 2000s music creation game. His presence was like a barely perceptible hum in the room, a quiet witness to the genesis of something out of nothing. I remember thinking, in that precise moment, that he was involved. Not creatively, not actively, but his quiet watchfulness, his unblinking gaze, felt like a silent endorsement, ...
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My Message to Provocative Opposing Peers

Declaring your stance, "I don't understand," genuinely invokes the sentiment within me that I couldn't care less if indeed, comprehension evades you. This apathetic response doesn't stem from a place of cruelty, but rather from a sense of personal overload, as I find myself grappling with diverse perspectives and complexities.

It's intriguing that you'd approach me with an apparent lack of comprehension, as if hoping that the confounding labyrinths of your thoughts could somehow become my burden. This deflection is an intricate dance of avoidance, a strategic maneuver to shift responsibility and maintain your position of perceived intellectual superiority.

As I stand here, attempting to navigate the maze of your mind, I can't help but wonder what it is that you truly wish for me to grasp. Are you seeking validation for the emotional turmoil that you wish to impart upon me, or is it the complex web of confusion that you find solace in?




Regardless of your intentions, I invite you to take a step back and examine your own thought processes. A mutual understanding is not an imposition, but rather a collaborative journey where both parties are willing to engage and evolve. If you're truly seeking comprehension and connection, then let's endeavor to embark on this path together, with open minds and a shared commitment to understanding.

However, if your goal is simply to overwhelm and confound, I must respectfully decline your invitation to participate in this exercise of mental gymnastics. The weight of your confusion is yours to bear, and I am not inclined to become entangled in its convoluted embrace.

So, I ask you once more: What is it that you want me to understand? The ball is in your court, and I await your response with a mixture of curiosity and determination. Only together can we unravel the tangled threads of miscommunication and mismatched perspectives, revealing the truth that lies hidden beneath the veil of confusion. But the first step must come from you – a willingness to articulate your thoughts, to share your story, and to engage in a genuine exchange of understanding.

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